Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
