Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize