Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
