Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
