? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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