How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
