Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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