I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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