He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
