Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
we're making bets on your personal life
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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