I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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