She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she smelled like a LAN party
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
