sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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