They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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