Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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