Sacagawea was the original milf.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize