so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
