last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
