You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
