I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
what day is it and did you see me today?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
