u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize