can we get nightvision for the apartment?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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