I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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