i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
