There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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