First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
the day after is always just damage control
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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