No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
my penis made a compromise with my morals
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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