love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
