At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
