i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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