Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i came on her dog
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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