Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
