She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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