i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
