She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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