is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
high people should be assigned attendants
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize