Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
nutella sex= disaster
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
