She is in my trunk
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
