But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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