you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
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