It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
