On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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