I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize