we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
