Define "chronic" masturbator.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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