I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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