Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
