I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
