Small penises have feelings too.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
