he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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