Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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