I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
