so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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