i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
