Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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