Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
