i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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